crotchstallion | IC Inbox For MoM

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IC Inbox For MoM

Handsome Jack here. Sorry to break your hearts, cupcakes, but you've failed to reach me. What can I say? I'm a busy guy. Leave it!
[blooping mouth sound, and then the actual voicemail prompt as usual follows.]

voice ♯ text ♯ video ♯ pic

[ Jack's Ringback Tone if you call and leave a voicemail. ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

jack

Whacha need honey?

💎 💎 We never go out of style 💎 💎

i am NOT a honkey i need] to talk to you

Edited 2015-08-05 03:35 (UTC)

honey

OK but you are a honkey by definition.

💎 💎 We never go out of style 💎 💎

theres something you goat know

got

duck this comm

FUCK

Yeah, I got know a lot of things.

💎 💎 We never go out of style 💎 💎

I'm not scared of you

Oh boo. :(

💎 💎 We never go out of style 💎 💎

i mean it

:( I'm a sad ghost now. Boo. :(

💎 💎 We never go out of style 💎 💎

how about you go screw yourself

I do regularly, but thanks for the concern. ;)

💎 💎 We never go out of style 💎 💎

i thought you were a hero but you're just a

super

massive

dick

If heroes weren't multi-faceted, they wouldn't be dynamic. They wouldn't have humanity. They wouldn't be characters that an audience could identify with.

Look, they say we're here for their government agenda, to protect the people of their country, but face it kiddo: we're here for entertainment just as much as that hero diatribe.

💎 💎 We never go out of style 💎 💎

[Next text takes a while to come. Rhys ordered another drink, pressed his forehead against the heel of one hand.]

you're just some guy aren't you

[Ouch, Rhys, that hurts deeper than you know.]

We are what we make ourselves to be.

💎 💎 We never go out of style 💎 💎

great

So, you want to see me as just some guy: fine. And in one way I might be. But I clawed and fought my way through hells you've probably never seen to get to the place I stood, to be the man you and every other tool at Hyperion fell in love with.

You want to call me a "super
massive
dick"
Fine, go ahead. I won't deny that. You say you're not afraid of me, but how much of that is for yourself, for your own benefit so that you feel like a stronger man in your shoes the next time you see my face in person?

💎 💎 We never go out of style 💎 💎

I'm drunk

If you're spending your inebriation on texting me, you are terrible at being drunk. Go hit on someone and get slapped when your first pick up line bombs. Go hit on someone else and become shocked and half-hard when they grab you by the face and start making out with you like they'll literally die if they don't.

Pick out a shitty song on the jukebox.

The list goes on.

Seriously, you're on a road trip to get away from your problems, not cause more.

💎 💎 We never go out of style 💎 💎

Dear Jack,

My name is Mr. 0. You don't know me, but rest assured, I know exactly who you are.

Living here is rather stifling, isn't it? ImPorts are summoned here because we're supposed to be the saviours of this country, and yet we have no benefit to being here. It's true, any imPort can start their own business, gain moderate wealth, even get a job in the government as an ambassador. But is that really enough? Is it really power? One could certainly say as much, but we are still expected to do as the government asks. We still risk having our powers taken away if we do anything they disapprove of. We're still at the mercy of the Porter, and anything we work to build in this world can be taken away if it decides to send us back.

True power can't be achieved until imPorts are the ones in charge.

I bring all of this up because I'm putting together a little group known as Genesis, and we could benefit from your assistance. We aim to give more power to imPorts, to make it so any one of us can thrive and become as strong as we wish to be without the the government or their laws holding us back. This is what we want to do, but we can't make this a reality without your help.

Don't try to contact me with your answer. You won't be able to find me, and you don't need to find me. I'll get back to you soon enough to learn your answer. You won't need to worry about when and where, of course. Someone will be able to find you when the time comes.

Also, I would advise against discussing this message or its contents with anyone else. You can never really know who to trust in this place, after all.

I await your favourable reply,
Mr. 0

Dear Mr. Taytay,

Thank you for agreeing to join our little group. We're currently working on getting everything in order, but for now, you can get started by meeting your new partner, Mr. Black.

You'll be meeting him on the 17th at 6:30, inside the Museum of Science and Technology in De Chima. He'll be the old, grouchy-looking one.

Try to get along.

Regards,
Mr. 0

I need your assistance. I am specifically disinclined to summon you, given your predisposition to travel in the nude.

That was ONE TIME. Man, everyone is just a gossip here, aren't they?

💎 💎 We never go out of style 💎 💎

Edited (almost forgot his shitty text signature whoops) 2015-10-04 22:19 (UTC)

One time? What, do the other forty-odd not count?

[Wait. He's seen that signature before. Frantically glancing between his contacts, Chilton comes to the uncomfortable conclusion that the other textual misfirings make this now a pattern.

Because Handsome Jack was no Matthew Lin.]

This wasn't the number I intended to contact.

Yeah, and now you've got me full of questions here Doc. Who do you know with such a killer track record?

Pun totally intended.

💎 💎 We never go out of style 💎 💎

Pun only vaguely appreciated. Look, my communicator has been inconsolably useless this entire day. You are, sadly, not the first misfire I've suffered.

Grant me a little slack.

I know this is quite sudden, but would you be willing to teach me to fight as you do?

[Alright, first the weird text from his psych and now this from a number he doesn't recognize? A quick poking around gives him the name of who the number belongs to, at least.

Eh, may as well have a little fun with it.]

For you, milady, anything.

💎 💎 We never go out of style 💎 💎

Truly? I would be very pleased! Athos does insist on coming along, however.

What do you mean by out of style?

Dear Mr. Taytay,

I hope your first meeting with Mr. Black went well, because it's time for the two of you to start working together. I need you both to start studying the Porter, and the security systems that are in place to keep it protected. If we're ever going to do what needs to be done, first we need to find out how to get past or disable the systems that keep the Porter safe. This is your first assignment. If you can't do this, then why did you even join?

Also, subtlety would be for the best in this case. Try not to get thrown out.

Regards,
Mr. 0

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IC Inbox For MoM

text; august 1st around 11:30pm

text;

text;

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August 26th | Letter

September 14th | Letter

10.03.2015 -- misfired text

no subject

1/2

no subject

no subject

no subject

m-m-m-misfire!

poor Lucy should not have ever been given a chance to meet Jack ever

oh my god

October 7th | Letter